What does the name of your business mean?
Tower & Star Mediation is a reference to the Tower and Star cards from a tarot deck. The Tower card represents chaos, destruction, sudden upheaval, and unexpected change. A Tower event can be like a bomb going off in your life. Those events could be positive, like the birth of a baby, or negative, like losing a job. Some events, like a relationship crisis, have the potential to go in either direction.
The Star card, which appears directly after the Tower card, indicates hope for the future, inspiration, calm, stability, and contentment. The Star is positive and indicates spiritual connection.
My goal is for the relationship mediation and conflict coaching that I give will lead you from a place that might include fear and unwanted change into a state of peacefulness, connection, and growth.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is mediation?
In mediation, two or more parties work with a neutral third party (the mediator) to share their viewpoints and gain understanding of the other party’s experiences. It is generally a short-term, structured, task-oriented, and hands-on process.
What’s the difference between relationship mediation and conflict coaching?
Number of parties: Relationship mediation involves at least two parties plus the mediator. Conflict coaching involves a single party plus the mediator.
Collaborative versus internal: the parties involved in relationship mediation are learning how to express themselves and work together. In conflict coaching, the individual examines their own feelings and needs.
For more detail, please see the pages on relationship mediation and conflict coaching.
What’s the difference between relationship mediation and couples counseling?
Couples counseling, also known as marriage counseling, is a type of counseling for intimate partners. In it, partners will typically explore and try to resolve their specific problems with a therapist.
By comparison, relationship mediation is for people in any kind of relationship, including family, friends, and even business associations, not just romantic partnership.
In relationship mediation, we look at the underlying needs of each person and their strategies to get their needs met. These typically impact multiple aspects of the relationship. By working together, we can introduce major solutions that couples can implement themselves and revisit as needed, ideally long before a crisis point is ever reached again.
It’s also important to note that a need isn’t a problem. A problem is typically a strategy to get a need met that isn’t working so well.
How long does it take?
Relationship mediation: Usually between three and six sessions, though it varies a lot. At the end of the first session, I’ll have a sense of how many sessions it will take.
Conflict Coaching: Typically one to three sessions.
Do you have any specialty areas?
I consider myself a generalist. However, a few areas where I am more knowledgeable and/or comfortable than average are:
Polyamory/ethnical nonmonogamy
Living with an STI
Kink/BDSM, particularly in regard to consent negotiations and partners with different needs
What if I just want to talk to you about stuff, and I’m not quite sure where I stand or what I need?
Book an Ask Me Anything session. I’ll focus on you, listen with empathy, share information, and offer suggestions when appropriate.
What is nonviolent communication (NVC)?
NVC is a communication approach that focuses on principles of nonviolence and promotes conflict resolution via self-awareness and growth. It teaches how to be compassionate with oneself and with others. NVC promotes resolving disagreements and conflicts with empathy, compassion, and recognizing our unmet needs. For more information, please visit www.cnvc.org.
